| Short respite |
[16 Oct 2009|04:42pm] |
It was over before it started. The passion and pleasure which filled me, and then left me empty but clear-headed. We didn’t exchange any kind of words, nor any direct eye contact. Even when I sat up, she didn’t stir, but stared glassy-eyed at the celling. The only time her eyes moved was to follow the smoke up from my cigarette, and watch it as it danced around and then disappeared. I knew she was sad, but I offered no condolences. I knew I had taken advantage of that unreachable sadness, so potent you could almost feel it permeating through you as well. So reliable, you know she won’t say anything about the emptiness, and almost guiltless way that you use her.
You don’t have to stay, she says. It startles me, because her voice is clear and strong. But there’s nothing to it.
I know, I say back. I stay seated, and suddenly I am hoping for some eye contact, almost hoping for some repercussion to flow from her, for the way that I use her. Relived that it doesn’t happen, though. She continues to stare at the celling. I ask her what she is hoping for. Christmas, she tells me. It’s only March. She talks about lights and shiny paper and how when she was twelve, her mom bought her a beautiful glass doll, but she broke the arm off. I don’t reply. I wait for her to fall asleep, and I leave like a thief; guilty, but with the assurance I won’t be caught. Hopefully she’ll learn to lock her doors and windows, so next time I can’t get in.
Comments? Critique?
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[07 Aug 2009|03:45pm] |
Indeed.
I thought to use this journal as a creative source, but I haven't done that. I need a hobby and I think being on the computer is deterring that. So, my friends, I am going on hiatus until I find something useful to do with my life. If I come back, I hope to resume my friendships with all of you :}
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| RAGE |
[01 Aug 2009|04:50pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Master & Servant - Depeche Mode |
] |
ARUGH.
Living life is expensive. Apparently our cellphone bill is $200 this month. Wtf? It's supposed to be eighty dollars a month. How the hell is it 200? Idk. I'm thinking not everything is being read right. But what can I do? Plus me and my husband are going on vacation in less than three weeks. We need to get money saved up because I don't get paid vacations at my job. That's how bad the economy is here. Normally I don't like the blame the economy. I know it's bad, but it's not the reason for everything going wrong. But they actually got rid of paid vacas at my job so the company will stay afloat. I'm seriously waiting for the day that I go to work and I'm told to go home; the store's closed. I keep trying to get money saved up but how can I when I owe people money? I owe my dad money, and I own my in-laws money (which had some murky circumstances behind it, so I'm not as worried about paying that back.) Bah. I'll figure something out.
And btw, as a server, PLEASE TIP YOUR WAITRESS. I promise you, if your meal is wrong or cold, it is NOT the server's fault. She/he is trying to get it right for you as much as they can. They can only do so much. It becomes the kitchen's fault after that. Trust me. I hate where I work because the kitchen will put drive thru first, despite the fact that we servers have customers waiting on food, and the longer it takes, the less likely it becomes that the customer will leave a tip. So while the cooks are worrying about drive thru times at 7.85+ an hour, I'm making 3.65 and depending on the tips of pissed off customers. RAWRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
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| candyandlollipopsandsodasurgarcoffeetaurine |
[31 Jul 2009|01:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 silly |
] |
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music |
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WE'RE WERE DUH DUH DONE WITH ALL THE FU FU FUCKING AROUND |
] |
Now!! First off...
twenty-four moar days until Modest Mouse!
Second off...
What anime do you like? List it for me in a comment. Also, yaoi & yuri=y/n?
Thirdly...
I've been working on a lemon yaoi fic. From the anime Yu Yu Hakusho. Would anyone be interested in reading it?
Lastly...a little bit of cute to brighten your day.
That's all folks.
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[26 Jul 2009|04:46pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Postal Service - We Become Silhouettes |
] |
I've become lazy. I don't draw as much as I used to, and I certainly don't write as much as I used to. I'm becoming less creative, and I don't like it one bit. I might start posting a lot of shit on here to keep myself from becoming some sort of blobalicious blob monster. Myeh.
If you wanna see some of the stuff I did before I got in this rut, you can go here.
A lot of it is old so don't expect magic XD
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| the media, and mormons. |
[24 Jul 2009|03:57am] |
I've been thinking. Now I'm gonna try and get my thoughts down.
The media. A good thing? A bad thing? Or something in between? I remember in 8th grade having to do a report on the media and the war in Iraq. My teacher had us write a three page essay on the topic. At the time, I really didn't care. I was fourteen years old, and I just wanted to get done with my homework so I could play on the internet. But now, as I get older, I seem to see some patterns.
The media. Pros?
You heard all about it. Bird flu (West Nile), Swine Flu, etc. About how when each was discovered, it was to be a pandemic. Children and the infirm would be dying in the streets! It would kill off half the population! But far from that. Yes, people did die. There's no denying that. However, it was certainly not the pandemic people were lead to believe would happen. Why? Because while the media does do it's job in scaring people, it also promotes awareness. Maybe it could've been a horrible pandemic for the world. But people were scared. They were washing their hands frequently, sanatizing more often, and paying attentions to any early signs that could be the result of West Nile or Swine Flu. Everytime it seems like a new virus is discovered, we are lead to believe it's going to be the end of human civilization.
The media. Cons?
Exaggeration seems to be the most common occurence in the media today. Everything is expanded upon and twisted to a point to be interesting, and at least somewhere in the actual confines of fact. So much can be misconstrude, misquoted, etc. Did you know that Winston Churchill never said that the navy is full of rum, sodomy, and the lash? Misquote. A lot of the time, the media will only report one-sided, or even, biased information. Creating opinions of individuals who only know half the story. And so on.
My point? Take the media in small amounts. Do research. Don't let people think for you.
( Now, a far lighter subject )
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| Show |
[17 Jul 2009|05:18pm] |
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music |
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Modest Mouse - Steam Engineius |
] |
Well...after much debate...we have decided to have a baby.
NOT. D:
Anyway, we've decided against the Tool concert, and against lollapalooza. Instead, we are going to see Modest Mouse!!!! We already have the tickets and everything! I'm terrified of driving to Columbus, but it doesn't seem as hard as I thought. Modest Mouse is my favorite band. I'm super psyched that my first show ever will be Modest Mouse.
Also, for you anime nerds, I've been writing FANFICTION. YA RLY. I've been feeling worthless so I pulled out the ye olde typewritter (not really, just the keyboard) and started typing away. Once I finish I'll post it on here for you to read. But...it will be my FIRST lemon fic ever (adult material) and far from my first yaoi fic. But it will be yaoi. YusukexKurama <333
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[15 Jul 2009|12:34am] |
I posted this entry in a community I'm in, called Thrift Horror. Bascically it's all horrible scary donations to thrift stores. Anyway, here's my journey into thrift stores today.
http://community.livejournal.com/thrifthorror/327849.html
I MISS MICHAEL JACKSON. The man was an artist.
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| :( prose |
[13 Jul 2009|03:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 morose |
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music |
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Belle and Sebastian - I Fought in a War |
] |
I'm not thinking again. Taking action without a plan. Throwing careful meticulous planning to the wind to be carried away on the first gust to nowhere. I feel like I'm not doing enough. I feel like I could be doing more. I'm stuck in a rut that my stupid thinking and well-wishing has grounded me to, and it's over my head. I'm sorry.
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| Getting Results |
[10 Jul 2009|04:38pm] |
David Carroll, guitarist in the band, “Sons of Maxwell,” created a YouTube hit after United Airlines broke his favorite guitar and refused to pay for it. According to the Seattle Post Intelligencer, the country parody song, “United Breaks Guitars,” saw over 100,000 hits in the first few hours.
Even though Carroll paid $1,200 in repairs and spent months trying to get United to compensate him, they refused his claim.
I thought this was pretty funny, and the video is hilarious as well. It's stupid that a company has to wait for a threat of bad publicity before they decide to do what they should have done months before. This song is a little country-y but its pretty funny. This makes me want to not fly with them lol.
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| bah. |
[09 Jul 2009|03:43am] |
| [ |
mood |
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exasperated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Gunther - Tutti Frutti Summer Love |
] |
Can't sleep. Too busy worrying. Ah I'll talk about that later.
Went to Newport, KY today to go to the Barns & Noble to buy Joe a book (he has to be difficult and want the book you can ONLY get at Barns & Noble, and Newport is the closest one. I live in Ohio, btw). So we drove to Newport and hung out for a while. It has a bunch of neat street vendors and stuff. Anyway, met up with Sarah and her friend, Thomas, and went out to lunch at this place called Johnny Rockets. NEVER GO THERE. I paid like $8 for a fucking tuna melt!! And trust me. It wasn't anything special. If anything, it was fscking salty. Parted with Sarah, and went to the parking garage under the Levee. MY CAR WOULDN'T START
Okay. Lets get this out. I'm terrified of driving. I hate it. I hate highway driving, and most of all, city driving. So now I'm stranded in Newport, with no one around, and a car that wont start. I'm freaking out. I get a hold of Sarah just as she is leaving, and she comes and JUMPS MY CAR, GOD BLESS HER. I thought I would be stranded there. I just freak out XD
I'm bummed also. There's never enough money. We can't seem to save it. It's so frustrating. I'm tired of being broke, and living paycheck to paycheck. Any suggestions to a server who basically gets paid everynight, and somehow pisses the money away?
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| YES |
[08 Jul 2009|05:38am] |
Watch this. It's fucking amazing. He's so suave that he might explode. Also bananas and melonas. And some penis.
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| work and more work |
[06 Jul 2009|04:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 curious |
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music |
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Modest Mouse - Education |
] |
Last night sucked. I was scheduled out at midnight but didn't get out till like one thirty in the morning. We got so busy, and stayed completely busy. I stopped taking tables at like, eleven thirty, and started sidework but still didn't get off till one thirty. My last table waited so long to get their food that I took all their drinks off their ticket, and made them free milkshakes. Bah. New guy in the kitchen is an asshole.
I made sorbet last night! And this time I wasn't drunk so it came out right and no huge strawberry goo mess to clean up. Next time I make it I'ma take a picture and post it on here and to the food community I'm part of. If you like cooking you should join too. I at least made $70 in tips last night. So I bought a shit ton of fruit :D
Also, I'm prolly gunna make a new layout for this. It's been this layout for like two years. I'm prolly gonna use the same picture I used for my myspace layout.
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| RICE BUNNY!! |
[03 Jul 2009|03:09pm] |
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music |
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Scissor Sisters - Filthy Gorgeous |
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LOOKIE. I MADE A RICE BUNNY. Then my husband eated it
D:
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| Hobby |
[29 Jun 2009|03:50pm] |
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music |
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Depeche Mode - Master & Servant |
] |
I'm pretty sure that once I have the money...I'm going to buy either a real violin or an electric one. The internet is so resourceful that I don't even have to pay for lessons. I can just youtube them. The reason being I'm tired of not having a hobby. I gotta work today. 5:00pm-1:30am.
Also I'm working on something new. When it's finished I'll scan it and put it up here. Maybe Deviantart, but Deviantart just pisses me off nowadays. I've become so cynical lol.
( I leave you with this bit 'o weirdness )
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| Myeh. |
[28 Jun 2009|04:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
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Myeh. I'm in a morose kinda way right now so this is going to be filled with angstyness. Or delicious angus beef. Whichever. I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I'm tired of serving grumpy ill-tempered people, and depending on those same people to tip me a decent tip. Like yesterday. Like, twenty-five kids walked in during our dinner rush, and we had to seperate them throughout the place because all of our tables were filled up. So basically if some of these kids sat in your section you took them. I only got two kids. The other three servers got like seven kids each. The two I got tipped me three dollars. Out of all the servers, I made the most in tips from this group. All these kids and adults, who were on a mission trip from Tennesee, stiffed all the other servers.
So what I'm getting to here is that I'm not making enough money because people are cheap. I'm tired of just being barely able to afford gas and milk and soda.
Now we're getting to the core of the problem. I keep trying to get my husband to go to college for culinary, since like Cinncinnati State has like, one of the best culinary programs. But he keeps procrastinating (yes, you husband XD). I mean, he says that we can't afford it, but if he went on grants, by the time he graduated and was in a real job he'd be making real money.
If he doesn't want to, then I'm going to go. The thing is, I'm not sure what I want to do anymore. I used to want to draw, but all I can draw is anime :\ it doesn't really seem like skill when that's all you can do.
On a side note; R.I.P BILLY MAYS. I never got to get my oxiclean from you ;~;
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| OH NOES |
[27 Jun 2009|04:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
Weird quotes from the Bible. Sorry guys I'm an atheist ^^;;
Slaves, be subject to your masters with all reverence, not only to those who are good and equitable but also to those who are perverse. (1 Peter 2:18 NAB)
THAT'S RIGHT. BOW DOWN AND DO WHAT I SAY.
For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD. Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day must be put to death. Exodus 31:15
I'm pretty sure almost all Christians work on Sunday lol. You're all DOOOOMMMEEEDDD
Before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, surrounded the house, both young and old, all the people from every quarter; and they called to Lot and said to him, ‘Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may have intercourse with them.’ But Lot went out to them at the doorway, and shut the door behind him, and said, ‘Please, my brothers, do not act wickedly. Now behold, I have two daughters who have not had relations with a man; please let me bring them out to you, and do to them whatever you like…’ Genesis 19.4-8
Mmmm...rape! Because the rape of his virgin daughters is better than gay sex!
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